I am a thinker. I am not much of a conversationalist. Okay, I don't think I am. My kids probably don't agree since they get the most of my daily words.
I also a very aware that I am living out my life in front of my kids and in front of my Father. All three of them (I guess Trinity makes it 5) call me out if I do not live what I say. Actually, that makes for precious accountability.
Then occasionally, my Father gives words that make me so humbled.
A few days ago, we were going through a math lesson with my boy. He can do the math, but sometimes it takes him a couple of tries to get it right. Sometimes. This was one of those days. So I began trying to emphasize how important accuracy is. (Because I am so right so often??)
I gave an example of Dad having to send out a bill for one of his computer repairs. If he overcharged the guy, the guy might notice. Dad would be gracious to correct the bill and the guy would pay the corrected price.
HOWEVER, depending on that customer and what all he had had to deal with that day, that customer had the potential to go out a say nasty things about how Dad had tried to "rip him off". I even explained that Dad had had no intention of "ripping him off", it was just an honest mistake.
So here is one of those times that I was using too many words, trying to make the point about how badly this situation could get out of hand. Trying to make the point about being accurate the first time is easier that apologizing and/or fixing it later.
My sweet son said, "But why do people have to be so mean?" He knows the real reason. Man is sinful and very, very selfish. Even Mom. Even Dad. Even those who love us most. We try to start every day as being "a brand new day with no mistakes in it." (Anne of Green Gables) Unfortunately, our sins and their consequences tend to follow us into each new day.
I was getting so good at this explanation of how badly our mistakes can make other people treat us. I was even getting pictures of those people who have whispered about me, those people who still carry some type of grudge, those times that I just blew it. I was in that gravel pit of "here I am again and why do I keep doing that".
All of a sudden the heavens opened up. Light radiated out. Warm love beams engulfed me.
The one who should condemn me first and most of all; He loves me. He has given everything He has (including His cattle on a thousand hills and His most beloved Son) to draw me to Him. HE lets me start each day new with no mistakes in it. He did not make me to live in a gravel pit. He has made me a city set on a hill. He has called me His own! His promises even fit today that has mistakes in it.
I was so humbled. This is all something that I have "known" but I suppose I hadn't really OWNED.
I hope my son heard a tiny portion of that golden voice that rang down from heaven. It has been singing in my heart since that time.
God's grace is truly amazing!
